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PRESIDENT'S PRATTLE

 DECEMBER 2014

 

Where has this year gone?  It's time to look out that Christmas Card and Present List once more and it seems like only yesterday that John was putting all the decorations etc. back up in the loft and now they have to come down again!

 

CLUB NIGHT

To help get you into the Christmas spirit, come along to the Christmas ClubNight on Saturday 6th Decemberkicking off at 6 p.m. for those wishing to bowl and 6.45 p.m. for non-bowlers.  You will be greeted with a glass of mulled wine and a mince pie and later on Jenny will be serving her excellent Turkey Baguettes with pickles etc. The Witney Town Band will be providing their usual brilliant programme of Christmas Carols and Songs.  This will certainly put you in the mood and all for only £5.50 - superb value.

 

CHRISTMAS RAFFLE 

Our other big Christmas event at the Club is of course, the raffle.  The draw will be held on Friday 12th December at 7 p.m. We will have at least 100 prizes this year and it's only 20p a line.  So far, we have collected in and spent £400 on prizes so keep your 20p's rolling in.  If you can spare an hour or so on that Friday evening (12th) to come and help with checking the numbers drawn against the raffle sheets, we would love to see you.  We are now on Sheets 14 and 15 and there's still over a week to go so your help on the night would be much appreciated.

 

MATCHES 

We have had 7 mixed matches and 2 ladies matches in November with a further two cancelled and one postponed. We won 5 and lost 2 of the mixed games and the ladies won l and lost l of their games. Very good result down at Rivermead ladies - well done.  We do have a return fixture with the Oxford & District ladies on 8th January.  This a new fixture for us and is not in the fixture list so please make a note in your diaries and sign up.  We mean to have our revenge!  The postponed game against Foxhills has now been re-arranged for Sunday the 4th January so please also make a note in your diaries of this new date and support this match.

 

NATIONAL COMPETITIONS 

Sadly both our ladies and mens teams are now out of all National Competitions for this year.  The ladies lost to Bletchleyin the Yetton Plate and the men lost in the Denny Cup Plate to Oxford & District.

 

CLUB COMPETITIONS 

The draw for all Club Competitions has now taken place and the relevant sheets are on the notice boards.  Please note carefully the play-by dates and whether you are the Challenger or not.  It would be helpful to everyone - players and Competition Secretaries - if you could get your games played in good time wherever possible and avoid leaving it to the last minute.

 

DISABLED PARKING 

Apparently one or two people are using the disabled car parking spaces who are not entitled to do so. Please be considerate and respect the fact that these spaces are for Blue Badge Holders only.

 

MORE NOTICES    

(I promise these are the last!)

 

In a Launderette:               Automatic washing machines: Please remove all your

                                         clothes when the light goes out.

At a Conference:                For anyone who has children and doesn't know it,

                                         there is day care on the lst floor.

On a Repair Shop Door :   We can repair anything.  (Please knock hard - the bell

                                         doesn't work).

 

NEWSPAPER HEADLINES

 

POLICE BEGIN CAMPAIGN TO RUN DOWN JAYWALKERS

Better watch your step everyone!

 

NEW STUDY OF OBESITY LOOKS FOR LARGER TEST GROUP

Weren't they fat enough?

 

ASTRONAUT TAKES BLAME FOR GAS IN SPACECRAFT

That's what he gets for eating those beans!

 

KIDS MAKE NUTRITIOUS SNACKS

Wonder what they taste like?

 

LOCAL SCHOOL DROPOUTS CUT IN HALF

Chainsaw Massacre again?

 

HOSPITALS SUED BY 7 FOOT DOCTORS

Wow! They're tall.

 

AND LASTLY

 

TYPHOON RIPS THROUGH CEMETERY - HUNDREDS DEAD

What a surprise!

 

 

I WISH YOU ALL A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS

AND A HAPPY AND HEALTHY NEW YEAR

 

Your Prezzie

Margaret